..And We Are Stronger Than Everything They Taught Us That We Should Fear...

Today was... Not good. At all. This breakup is so much worse than the last one, because this one feels permanent, you know? But then... Jill told me it doesn't exactly have to be. I mean... I don't know. But I am actually really starting to believe that it was the distance, and only the distance, that killed us... Because she is taking this about as hard as I am.

Now, I would get into a depressing little rant about my day, but no... I no longer feel like that, for the next few minutes any way. And who do we have to thank for this new outlook? Why, none other than everyone's bestest buddy, Joshie! Awww, t'ank you Joshie, you've managed to make me see that there's more to this than "getting the girl."

He's still emailing me. That asshole is actually still emailing me! He can't be content with "winning", he can't be content with her, he thinks now he can strike with impunity, from afar, and laugh in his invincibility. Well... Here, just to show you the extent to which his douchebaggery goes, here is his latest little email:

"lol oh i hear your just charming, you wanna watch out. should have kept up the good behaviour might have improved your chances down the road, since love is eternal and all...oh yeah might want to keep a little control on your hostile emotions, jill is practically having seizures because of the vibes your sending out, tsk tsk. i got back stabbed and i wasn't THIS malicious. Christ you've had a month to deal..that must be the whole age thingy kicking in

ps i'm still waiting for that whole apoligy thing

pps you made her cry...those tears are yours alone"

No names have been changed to protect the innocent... Because no one is innocent here. And the spelling and grammer mistakes? All his.

So, he starts off with a threat, to which I respond "Right here buddy, right here." (You can insert the raised middle finger for yourself... And in your case Josh, right up your ass. Though, I'm sure you were far ahead of me on that one.)

I'm going to skip over that whole sarcasm part... Man, stick to the shit you do best, intelligent sarcasm... Not your strong suit. What is your strong suit? Well, being a general asshole is really the only thing that I can think of. So, yeah, stick to that, and good luck out there in the world.

Now, he got back stabbed and wasn't THIS malicious? And I made her cry? Well... Shit! God damn it all, what have I done?!?

Man, she made me cry too. We both cried. That is what you do in a breakup, idiot.

The apology thing? To clarify, he wants me to apologize for all my lying. Well, man, I'm going to say this once more, and "God" willing, the millionth time might be the charm. Wake. The. Fuck. Up. Are you new to this whole "thought" thing? Is your life that mind-numbing that you've forgotten how to use that thing floating inside your skull? I haven't been lying! Argh! Your total disregard for what is blantantly obvious is actually now to the point of being fucking comical! I... I cease to see how you function in every day life. Are you that insulated from reality? Did you kill too many brain cells over at Greg's? None of these would even add up. Bravo Joshie, bravo... Your rampant idiocy astounds even me.

He says "You've had a whole month to deal." Listen, Josh, have you given any thought, any thought at all, as to why Jill might be crying? After all this time, it was this blog that made her break down? Fuck, please! Maybe... Jesus Christ, a thought! Maybe it's because we broke up, you fucking knob! And maybe, just maybe, she cries because she loved me, and still does, and is sad to see that this distance between us is just too much! Ever thought of that?

Okay, okay, I am aware of the lunacy of using the word "thought" in a sentence directed at him. You'll excuse me if I blame it on the alcohol... Or, you know, the emotional wrecking. Either or.

So, anyway, to sum up... This is the asshole that she picked. This is the miserable excuse for a decent human being that she loves enough to choose him over me. Perhaps he has redeeming qualities, though you'll excuse me if I don't hazard a guess as to what those may be... Even my poor little brain has its limits.

I'll give you guys an actual update on my life tomorrow. But now, I go to bed, satisfied, my righteous anger a warm glow in my belly. Or maybe that's the vodka, who can tell?