...And They're Just Pieces Of Paper...

*Sigh*

Yes, that's always a good way to start a blog.

I saw Borat today, it was absolutely awesome... Seeing it with the guys was exactly the kind of thing I needed, exactly the kind of thing I need to get out and do more often. I'd forgotten how therapeutic it was to just relax like that... I pretty much forgot all my troubles, until near the end of the movie at least, when I started to miss Jill a lot... It's our anniversary you see, and I started to feel really guilty that I was out with the guys instead of at home talking to her. Of course, to be fair, she was supposed to be at piano, so I wouldn't have been talking to her anyway, but nevertheless.

I'm a little... I don't know, a little depressed, a little thrown off at the moment. I went to Jill's livejournal, to see her latest post as she told me to... And was greeted with pictures of her and Josh kissing. Because that's exactly what I wanted to fucking see. *Sigh* It's just, she used to warn me about that kind of thing, when she was going to do it... And it's quite hard to look at my girlfriend kissing another guy... I mean, I know it happens, clearly, but I would rather it wasn't happening as a still life right in front of my face.

Oh well, I'll get over it. I love you darling... Happy four months.

(Addendum: Fuck! Arrrrgggghhhh... And now they're hanging out, isn't that just a fucking kick in the teeth? I'm supposed to phone her at nine... I do, she's not there, okay, must be busy. Yeah, fucking right she was busy. She could've given me a little warning, Jesus Christ... And then I phone twenty minutes later, and she's acting weird, and something's up, but I don't want to accuse her, I don't want to say "Oh, Josh is over, that's just fucking great..."

"I love you."

"You too."

Happy fucking four months.)

(Addendum: Alright... I think I've calmed down. But that really, really hurt. Enough so that I'm not even sure I was overreacting... But you know what? She'll make it better... I bet it wasn't even her fault. I love you Jill.)

(Addendum: *Sigh* Again. Apparently, it technically is her fault. She knew he was coming over... She just forgot to tell me. I just put more symbollism into today then she did... Which is understandable, I suppose... The phone thing, it's hard... So it would've been smarter to just forget about today and pretend that sunday was the 7th. But... No one informed me of the plan. Hence, Josh coming over really, really hurt. But... At least she feels bad, so I know she cares.)