Another Travelin' Song...

Alriiiight... Here goes nothing. I again have not been in the mood to write lately, as nothing has really sparked my interest, or evoked any sort of "Oh shit, I have to get this down!" sort of feeling. I sometimes feel like degrading (not the right word at all... I just mean "changing") to some sort of blog where I write every thought that comes into my head, because those sort of things are often hilarious and I would feel better because I update more... But I am far too lazy. Nope, no random thoughts, no internet memes, nothing too interesting... So I'll be content to let you guys check in when I actually decide to get off my ass (proverbially, of course, I'm on my ass right now) and write something down, which is apparently not too often.

God damn but I have a bad headache. All our headache medicine is the extra-strength stuff that has caffeine in it, and I know if I take that I'll be up much later than I should... On the other hand, with the schedule I keep I'll be up for another four hours anyway... Okay, when I'm done this, I will.

The internet is starting to depress me. I... Urgh, I don't feel like writing this all out. Hold on, I explained this all to Jill a little while ago, lemme just find that and copy and paste it... Fuck I'm lazy. Ah, there:

I'm tired of all the ways that it depresses me, and pisses me off, and just generally makes me unhappy; I'm tired of waiting for people, I'm tired of not talking to people even when they're right there online, I'm tired of no one talking to me, I'm tired of no one initiating conversations... I'm sick of no one really talking to each other anymore, just having meaningless conversations... I'm sick of having this entire virtual world at my fingertips and being bored as absolute fuck... I'm just sick of sitting on the computer all day, getting nothing accomplished, always being in a state of waiting... Waiting for people to come, waiting for people to talk, waiting for something to happen... I'm sick of being at its whim.

Yes, that sums it up pretty well. I mean... For the most part, I come home from school, go into my room, sit on the computer, get up once to go eat dinner, get up twice to take a piss (or... to take pisses? Pluralize that)... And that's pretty much it. I sit here until I get a headache (like now? Fuck...), I sit here 'til it's far too late (2 am on most nights), and then I complain about how hard it is to get up in the mornings? Jeeze... So anyway, the point of this is, I'm considering taking a break from the internet. Just... Walking away. Not going on for a few days. What will I do? I don't know... Take a walk or something. Something fun, fuck, there's gotta be something fun... Right? I don't know. I just keep getting these headaches that tell me I've been sitting here for far too long, it's time to get up and do something with my time... If I get the camera I'm asking for, I think I'll have a lot more reason to be outside. So, let's all pray for that, eh?

Of course, there are certain people who I only ever talk to online... Jill, naturally, and Laura, who I'd hate to miss... And also Carolyn, a large part of the reason I'm still sticking around... Just because she's so cool. I mean, I can talk to Dave, and Deanna, and Lauren, and all those people at school... But when will I talk to my beloved Carolyn? (Or Laura, or Jill, etc.) So... I'm still here. For a while.

Hmmm... What else did I want to talk about... Music. Two pieces, to be exact. First of all, I was listening to the secret version of You Oughta Know off Jagged Little Pill the other day, and I let it run through as I sometimes do... And what comes on? This secret song! And it is soooooo good... It's just Alanis Morisette with some slight reverb effects, and that's it. My God, I swear, it would bring a grown man to his knees, it is, bar none, one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. Please, please listen to it. Second, I was listening to the song Crack Music by Kanye West the other day, and the whole song is good, it's all about how crack was put in the ghettos as a method of social control for the blacks, in order to to quash the influence of the Black Panthers and keep the black activists down. But now, the situation is reversed; black musicians put out this "gangsta rap", this "crack music", and all the suburban white kids are buying it up like it's... well, like it's crack. And it's almost a form of revenge, because now the black people are getting back the money that's been stolen from them all throughout American history... But anyway, the last part is my favourite, this little rant that Kanye does at the end of the song, almost beat-poet style, and it's just so... So vengeful and angry, but at the same time so smug and cocky... The lyrics:

See I done did all this ole bullshit
And to attone I throw a little somethin', somethin' on the pulpit.
We took that shit, measured it and then cooked that shit
And what we gave back was crack music
And now we ooze it through they nooks and crannies
So our mammas aint got to be they cooks and nannies
And we gonna repo everything they ever took from grammy
Now the former slaves trade hooks for grammy's
This dark diction has become America's addiction
Those who ain't even black use it
We gonna keep baggin' up this here "crack music".

I just love the anger, the cockiness... I actually do really like Kanye West. I've listened to All Falls Down about twenty times in the last few days. He's got some good lyrics... Roses, Through The Wire, All Falls Down, Jesus Walks... It's all good stuff. Ergh, headache.

So anyway, it doesn't feel like Christmas, and I was going to rant about the fact that it doesn't feel like Christmas, but my head hurts. I will do so... Tomorrow? Probably not. Sometime soon. Preferably... Before Christmas.

(Addendum: Man, I was listening to Crack Music again, and the fucking internet site got one of the lyrics wrong... It says "Merril-Lynch" instead of what it actually should be... But when I listened to the lyrics for myself and realized that he says "Merril-Lynched" I realized "Woah, that's a reallly good play on words!
We invested in that it's like we got Merril-Lynched
And we been hangin from the same tree ever since
It's a really good lyric now that I realized what it actually was. Good work, Kanye.)